Love

A wise grandfather warned his grandchildren about falling in love. "You don't fall in love," he'd say. "You fall in ditches. You fall down stairs. You fall overboard. But you should plan your love life and choose carefully the person you are going to marry.

-from Parenting is Heart Work, Turansky and Miller, pg. 80

It should come as no surprise that our society takes a passive view on love. After all, we have nearly mastered the passing of responsibility, even to inanimate objects at times.  For a society that is so averse to the belief that there is a God who directs the activities of man, we so readily relinquish control of major decision to "fate" or some other ethereal force beyond our control. (Man innately recognizes his lack of control, and denial of God leads to desperate existentialism.)

Here, in matters of the heart, our society has elevated “the moment” and spontaneity to dangerous levels of irresponsibility, not taming our hearts to follow God's principles. Our culture cannot accept that someone can plan to love. In the world's eyes, love is a feeling that must by nature be uncontrollable. Nothing could be further from the truth! Does this not obviously lead to the lack of commitment in marriage that is so prevalent among us.  The love that comes as it pleases, goes as it pleases. This is not love! It is lust! It is based on a weak foundation of circumstances, no matter our strong the feelings of the moment.

This does not mean that love cannot have strong feelings and deep moments. On the contrary, true love is boundless. While some moments may be marked by the mental assent to the commitment, others are bursting with the deepest and most meaningful feelings of overwhelming love that find no match in the relatively simple feeling of lust.

The ultimate demonstration of love that is planned yet profound is that of Christ for the church. It is no accident that God uses the analogy of marriage to describe this relationship. No love has been more planned, no love is deeper, no love has cost more, no love has expressed such profound commitment as Christ's love for the church.

In light of the art and expressions of our culture of a false and diminutive love, we must give our young people examples of this love. We must strive to demonstrate it ever more to prove its worth in our marriages and relationships with friends and family.